


The Tentacle I Used to Know

by xX_Brainr0t_Xx



Category: PaRappa the Rapper
Genre: M/M, Parody, Selfcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:35:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23881660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xX_Brainr0t_Xx/pseuds/xX_Brainr0t_Xx
Summary: Self-love is an important part of anyone's well-being.Read it onWattpad!
Relationships: Takoyama/Takoyama
Kudos: 1





	The Tentacle I Used to Know

Takoyama swayed slightly, not quite believing his eyes.

It was him.  
It was him.

He felt his face grow hot as he stared blankly at the other octopus.

Takoyama breathed out thinly, his eyes glassy. "At last we are reunited, my love..."

The two Takoyamas gazed at each other.

"...me."

Takoyama slowly reached a spindly arm out, resting it upon Takoyama. "Myself..."

Takoyama grinned tearfully. "My only plausible husband."

Takoyama's eyes suddenly widened as reality hit him and rage filled every limb. He aimed his M60. "Where the FUCK were you??" he shouted, rapidly growing violent.

"I was OUT!"

Nearby, Teriyaki Yoko had set up a lounging chair. They had a microwavable bag of popcorn in hand, pleasantly crunching away at every unpopped kernel as they watched.

Takoyama furiously flexed his tentacles, a dangerous look in his eye. "OUT OF MY FUCKING ASS, THAT'S WHERE." he took a moment, trying to gather himself. "I'm sorry, but I have a new boyfriend."

Takoyama shakily fell to his knees, gasping sharply. "WHOMST COULD TAKE MY LOVE AWAY?!"

Takoyama looked down coldly. _"A man."_

A thin tear rolled down Takoyama's cheek as his arms wobbled. He shivered as he spoke, his voice painfully soft. "Was..." he cleared his throat. "Was I _ever_ enough for you...?"

Yoko snorted, crossing their legs comfortably. "This is so intense..."

The octopus straightened his back, glancing away. "Well, we only had a one-night-stand and that's it." he muttered, frowning. "How the _fuck_ is that True Love?"

 _"I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING TOGETHER!"_ Takoyama cried out, reaching his hands forward in a desperate prayer.

_"I HAD YOUR DICK IN MY ASS FOR ONE NIGHT."_

Yoko handed the popcorn over to Lea Lion, who had been watching in vague horror for some time.

"Thank you, miss!" she chirped, taking a handful.

Yoko nodded, shuffling the bag back into their lap.

Takoyama stood up now, glowering as his form stretched grotesquely. "My penis was _unworthy??_ Huh????" he growled frantically. "...Is that what you're saying, you bitch with the fine ass?????"

The two glared at each other, their chests heaving with riled emotions and untold thoughts.

 _"Your dick,"_ Takoyama whispered. _"Is the tiniest tentacle, so don't even TRY this shit with me."_

Finally risen to his full height, he was leaning far over Takoyama by now. "If you gonna win me over with lust, you gotta be _HUNG_ \-- and I'm sorry sir, but you are a Tic-Tac."

Takoyama was glowering silently with clenched fists. His face burned against Takoyamas as he hoarsely spoke: "...and to think I spent 10 minutes trying to inflate it for you, you shallow man."

 _"INFLATE???"_ Takoyama sounded completely incredulous. "You not only have a tiny penis, you're also a _LIAR."_

Yoko grimaced. "Yup. I am definitely tearing my eyes out after this."

Takoyama was shuddering now, his shoulders thrown forward. "HOW DARE YOU."

Takoyama narrowed his eyes. "I said it."

_"I can't believe you."_

"--and I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU."

"After everything I did in those three minutes we shared..." Takoyama mumbled.

"Three minutes don't satisfy me."

The two reeled back for a moment, not actually sure how long mating was supposed to last due to their perma-virgin status. Weren't octopuses supposed to be semelparous?

Takoyama coughed, trying to break the silence. "...We're supposed to be fucking dead."

The two shuffled their feet awkwardly. Perhaps it was different for homosexuals?

He continued, sounding rather uncomfortable now. "I'm sorry but I'm... a space octopus." he laughed piteously. "Gravity and logic does not apply. Apparently."

Takoyama was already back to his anger. "I'm dead INSIDE, after the way you've TREATED ME,"

"I'd say you killed me on the inside too, but your dick was too small to do that."

Lea sighed, vaguely regretting coming to watch the show. "I crave death."

Yoko rested their gigantic head upon their hand, which looked almost delicate against the sheer massive circumference of their weird skull. "Oh my fucking god."

Takoyama was sobbing now, though he was clearly trying to hold back the violent sobs that threw his body forward. "I am bereft."

"Speak English." Takoyama commanded, starting to look exhausted.

"My penis... insulted."

"I wanna hear your dick cry," The octopus's words were icy on his tongue. "Weep."

A distant shout of mortal agony could be heard. They ignored it as they continued their stand-down.

"My pride... wilted." Takoyama's eyes had closed on their own. "Just like my duck."

Takoyama reeled back somewhat. What? _What?_

"It is always crying--"

"Where's the duck." he interrupted. "Wait-- there are ducks? Hand me the bread." God damn did he want to see some ducks. Ducks were great. So short and tubby with pattering wide feet and big soft-looking bodies that he would love to hold. Also, they were not disappointing like Takoyama.

Takoyama scoffed. "You do not deserve my genital bread."

Ma-San had taken residence beside Lea and Yoko, confusedly rubbing her head. "Yo what the fuck?"

Lea and Yoko both shrugged, Lea patting a seat beside her.

 _"GENITAL??"_ Takoyama would retch if he could. "Bro, just whole wheat." This idiot. He pressed his hands to his forehead. Today had gone on too long. "Even white bread or brown bread will work. Just bread, real bread."

"No, only seed bread." Takoyama puffed out his disappointing chest, looking smug. "--and it is all for me."

"Then feed the damn ducks."

Yoko stood up, their arms in a flourishing gesture. "End scene!"

Without even thinking, Takoyama bowed grandly to an audience of hundreds. "GG."


End file.
